I debated on writing on this subject for the past few days, but found myself thinking, how could I not?I have watched very little of the news coverage of the tragedy in Connecticut.  At first, I was unaware of anything happening as I was with clients all day in private practice.  No TV, radio, or cell phone usage.  Later Friday, I was preparing to visit a neighbor who is entering Hospice, focusing on how to be present for a friend who is in the midst of grief all her own watching her husband slowly slip away.  Following the visit, we prepared for my first "work dinner" with my new practice, celebrating the wonderful people I get to work with each day.  All awhile, it was not lost on me that tragedy did indeed happen, or that I hadn't watched anything on it.  By Saturday, it occurred to me I was now purposely avoiding watching it.  At first, I wasn't sure why....but as I do with most things in life that seem hard to comprehend, I've spent some time in thought and prayer trying to make sense of it all.I remember Columbine, Oklahoma City, and 911.  Vividly.  I remember watching the minute by minute coverage of the tragedies thinking to myself "how can such evil exist in our society?" I remember thinking in some way I needed to watch it all, in some way if I wasn't watching, I questioned whether that made me insensitive or seem uncaring.  In thinking  back, I wonder who I was really watching all the news coverage for when those most personally affected were no longer here to know.One of my college roommates was killed in 911 in one of the World Trade Center buildings.  I hadn't seen her since I was in college, but was overcome with grief when I learned of her horrible, tragic, senseless death.  It seems trite to say, but she really was one of the most kind, beautiful people I'd ever met.  On the anniversary this year, I watched some of the footage again, almost reliving that awful day.I didn't know anyone who was directly affected by Columbine or Oklahoma City.  Still, I was glued to the TV, powerless to remove myself from hearing the words of those most intimately affected by the senseless evil.One of my favorite quotes reads "all that is required for evil to prevail is for good men to do nothing" by Edmund Burke.  While typically I would concur, in thinking about the latest of human tragedies, I disagree.  There was nothing any of those innocent children or the seemingly wonderful teachers and adults who died tragically on Friday could've done to prevent this from happening.  Evil persists.  Period.  And while I understand on a very human level, on the level of being a parent of 2 school aged children as well, the desire to protect my children and keep them under my protective wings the rest of their lives, I also understand that isn't possible in order for them to truly "live" in this world.To give up "living" gives continued power to the evil that occurred Friday.  Just like giving up traveling after 911 did for me temporarily....consumed by fear of it happening again gives power over to those who victimized many over and over and over again.At mass yesterday, the very dear Priest at our Parish was faced with the responsibility of calming the anxiety and fears of the community while giving his Homily from this week's scripture reading.  He beautifully told this story...... (excuse for not verbatim).......a young boy and his father walked into church one Sunday morning.  Both were devote in their faith, and struggled with understanding why the young boy had born with a birth defect which required him to wear a brace on his leg.  They both had decided they were going to pray very hard this Sunday, asking God to take this burden away from him.  Upon leaving mass, at first they were distraught, as nothing appeared to happen.  Then suddenly, the boy looked up at his Dad and said "Dad, it happened.  God answered my prayers....because even though I still have this brace on my leg, it is no longer on my mind."This young boy learned a difficult, but beautiful lesson this Sunday.  Somedays, we ask for something specific to happen, and are disappointed when our prayers aren't answered in the way we think they should be.  We try to make sense of tragedy or heartache in our life with a sense of wanting a specific outcome.  However, I don't believe that is how life happens.  Sometimes, it is about shifting our perspective in order to experience true peace.While this boy wasn't "cured" of his birth defect, the worry he carried was taken away from him allowing him to live a more peaceful, joyous life.  While the children and family members cannot be returned in this life to these families directly affected by the shootings on Friday, prayers for peace and grace and understanding can be amassed to help them in their healing.Maybe that's simplistic?I don't have all the answers, how I wish that I did.  But I leave tonight with thoughts of peace, in the words of one of the most peaceful men who walked the planet...."I find hope in the darkest of days, and focus in the brightest."   Dalai Lama.Peace and Love and Healing....