Running.  "To move swiftly on foot so that both feet leave the ground during each stride.  To move at a fast gallop."I started running 8 years ago.  But there are days my mind is quite effective at convincing my body that I am not "really" a runner.  Living most of my life as believed non-athlete, some days it is still hard for me to wrap my brain around what my running has done for me and what I've been able to accomplish.  I still struggle with not being fast enough, or "looking" like a runner.  For a myriad of reasons, some relevant and others not, this has not gotten easier for me to reconcile in my head over the years.In the beginning, I would tell others if I can run, nearly anyone can.  I quickly became a cheerleader and non-trained coach for others around me.  The confidence completing my first half and full marathons gave me was something I wanted to share with others.  I coasted through several years, injury free and organized group runs weekly and encouraged others to meet at our kids school after drop offs to run "together" as often as possible. I really liked being the motivator of others. I liked seeing the process of newbies getting out for the first few miles, and watch them as they trained and eventually crossed the finish lines of their first race.  I would beem with pride, knowing in some small way I was their "x" factor in getting them started in becoming a runner.Then injury hit me.Somewhere along the way, with that my drive to be the cheerleader, to be the motivator, to be the non-trained coach stopped.  I didn't even really recognize it until this weekend.I agreed to meet friends for an early morning run at a local state park.  It was cold.  It was snowy.  It was early on a Saturday.  Everything I love about winter running.We set out for a 6 mile loop, the furthest I've been since my half marathon in October, and the furthers I've run with others in even longer.  Most of the group was faster. All of the runners had run the loop before, many on a weekly or daily basis.  I was completely out of my comfort zone.  While I was admittedly nervous to begin the run, I quickly began an even more sinister battle in my head that was completely unfamiliar to me.  While I struggled to maintain pace, manage my anxiety that surfaces when I'm running unfamiliar routes, and the pain that began early in the run in my shins.....the biggest hurdle I faced was becoming the one who was being "coached & motivated."Yuk.About mile 4, I realized I don't like to be on that side of the fence.  I don't like to appear weak, or need help. I don't like when the "am I really a runner" surfaces in my head.  But when I was the one "coaching"...I never felt like the other runners were that way.  So why is it different for me?Really, it isn't.  It is in acknowledging our own weakness that we are made strong.For the next 2 miles, I tried to be gracious, and accept the support because quite frankly it was better than running alone.  I relied on the knowledge of others for the challenges of the route, and found my anxiety lifting.  I went out and bought new shoes.  I've only been talking about it for over a month, but the pain was finally the reminder that shoes, like anything else, have a shelf life and I was literally hurting myself by not replacing them (average running shoes need to be replaced ever 300-400 miles).  Plus.  They were on sale at our local running shop!  Finally, I accepted the coaching, motivation, and cheerleading of my friends both new and old and allowed them to help me get through a difficult run.  I remembered, I am a runner.I appreciate every day I can get out and run.  I've changed my goals over the years, and try to focus on being able to run for the rest of my life, rather than finishing a certain race.  Pain and injury force me to take better care of myself than I did years ago, while continuing to challenge me to not use my injury as an excuse to sit on the side lines and just watch life go by....literally and figuratively.Quote for the day "Pride makes us artificial and humility makes us real", Thomas Merton.Peace.....