Those who aren't runners reading my blog, or who have never been to a race are surely thinking "What the heck does that mean?"  Those who are or have, instantly hear the word "Kenyan" and know.  Elite runners.  Front of the pack.  Runners who make the sport look more like an art form than exercise. They look like they're floating through the course, really it is a beautiful sight to behold.Kenyan.  I am not. I do not float, I plod.  My form does not look like art, rather something that is challenging the laws of nature.  Yet, running is something that provides balance and peace in my life.Saturday, I set out for a long training run with a running friend of mine.  Typically, we meet up and find a steady pace and attempt to stick with that pace throughout the run, limiting our stopping or walking to traffic lights or water breaks.  However.....Run.  Walk.  Run.  Walk.  Run. Walk.  This was the unfortunate pattern for the entire run. What was to be a routine 10 mile training run, ended up to be a 8.5 mile mind torturing, painful and disappointing debacle.I tried to ditch my friend.  Seriously.  Not because she was running slower than me, rather because I was so frustrated with myself that I really thought for the moment it'd be better to be in the horrible space on my own.  She refused.  Damn her loyalty.  I dressed too warmly, my breathing never became regulated, I fixated on every aching part of my body, and at no time did I ever feel like I was in my running groove.I continued my pity party for a while after my run was completed...."arguing" with a friend why I couldn't challenge the negative thoughts in my head at the time, and chose, rather to just give up.  Pathetic really.   As the day progressed, and I enjoyed the beautiful sunshine that had eluded our lovely state for months and months, the following thoughts occurred to me....

• I am not a quitter.  I am a marathon runner (not a "Kenyan" but a marathon runner nonetheless).
• Difficult runs, just like anything else in life, make us stronger.
• I am thankful I have good friends who tell me what I need to hear, rather than what I want to hear sometimes.
• Why don't I live in a sunnier state?  (Sigh....)

So....Sunday, Easter Sunday, I got up early before mass, put on my running shoes, and ran a short run just to make sure I wasn't needing to hang up my running shoes altogether.  Thankfully....legs worked better than the day before, and my negative thoughts went back to the recesses of my mind for a while to be replaced with the mantra "I am a runner....."In reflection, I am thankful for the challenging runs.  I thrive on being told I "can't" do something and pushing myself when something is hard.  Perhaps it's the rebellious spirit that persists in my soul, or just the need to never get too comfortable with my life less I cease growing and evolving.  Yes, I'd rather it all be easy, but I don't remember that ever being a promise in life.Quote for today...."The miracle isn't that I finished.  The miracle is that I had the courage to start." John Bingham.