I’ve held on to the narrative about myself of being a lifelong shy & introverted child who grew into an even more introverted and shy adult. Then… I was forced to see myself through a new lens with a different narrative….I was not always this way. What?

I recently looked through a box of papers, mostly report cards, once stored at my parent’s house. They were recently given to me, to determine what to do with all the irrelevant and outdated documents. As I sat in my closet, sifting through these neatly packaged papers, I started to wonder who the person was receiving these report cards and comments on them. Who were the teachers talking about on the report cards? At a very early age, I repeatedly received comments stating I was “excessively talking” in the classroom. While I have limited memories of my childhood, being an “excessively talkative” person was illuminating nonetheless. I don’t think that would be how anyone in my adulthood would describe me, but more importantly that has never been how I have viewed myself.

On the contrary, throughout my adulthood I have had difficulty speaking in groups of people, asking questions in college or CEU’s workshops, and in networking events. Somewhere between utter dread and panic is where I reside in these spaces and have learned over the years coping skills to make it “less awful” but never enjoying or feeling particularly skillful opening up and contributing openly in these spaces. What I’ve been wondering since this discovery of my old report cards is this: what if instead of scolding or marking me down on my report cards, I was celebrated for my willingness to be vulnerable at a young age and speak my mind? Would that have changed the trajectory of my life?

I wondered, while sifting through the papers, who would I have grown into being if someone/s hadn’t told me my talkative nature was inappropriate? Who would I have grown into being if instead of telling me I was “too talkative,” a teacher would have helped me to channel that energy into something less distracting to others while still embracing my nature?

I am NOT blaming whoever these teachers were for these statements on a report card a million years ago. I have been in classrooms, CEU workshops, and groups and know having someone who is “excessively talkative” is at times difficult to manage and other times out-right annoying. However, what I am suggesting is for all of us to be mindful of our words.

WORDS do matter. They shape how we see ourselves, they shape how we see ourselves in the world, and they can shape who we grow into being. WORDS do matter. Choose wisely.