how did finding peace and happiness get so complicated?

Shortly after I graduated from college, I volunteered with the Canossian Sisters (an order of nuns) in Albuquerque, New Mexico.  I shared a living space with 3 other young women. Before anyone passes out thinking I was entering the convent, let me clarify.  While the others were in some phase of discernment to enter the convent, I went there purely for missionary/service aspirations.  Period.The only experience I had with nuns prior to this experience was with the less than pleasant highschool teachers I had at Bishop Watterson.  Terranical teaching methods and obsession with ending all gum chewing by students was the image I had set in my mind.Entering the community in Albuquerque, I was stunned by the peaceful, generous nature of all the sisters.  With various ethnic backgrounds from around the world, various ages, various stories of what lead them to a committed life of service to the church, these women all shared the same joyous and peaceful spirit I was drawn to instantly.  They lived simply, with very little conveniences most of us seem to think we "have to have" in order to be happy, yet happiness truly radiated from each one of them.So on my run yesterday, in the frigid 0 to -15 degree temperatures, I was thinking about  2 things.  (1) why am I running in this cold today?  Easy to answer.  Dressed properly, it doesn't bother me and knowing I have several races coming up helps me to stay on committed to running.  (2) how has finding happiness & peace gotten so complicated for me?The most authentically happy people I have known in my life have spent little time worrying about what others think about them, and much more time finding what really makes them happy.  None of them have fit into the standard mold of what society tells us we need to be happy.  Wealthy.  High status.  Fame.  Power.  None of that mattered to them.  Rather, true happiness seemed to be found in being peaceful from within.One of my favorite books is a children's book I read to my kids when they were younger, "You are special" by Max Lucado.  He tells a tale of Punchinello, a wooden Wemmick who believes he isn't good enough because of what others say about him.  While others in the village have gold stars for all the "good" things people have said about them in their lives, Punchinello, like many other Wemmicks in the village has grey dots, a symbol of all the "bad" things people have said about him.  In this poetic, touching tale, young Punchinello who yearns for the gold stars learns that when we truly become at peace with ourselves, gold stars and grey dots no longer matter.  He learns that true happiness comes from within, and knowing we are loved.  Simple.Forced to think about what has made me really authentically happy in my life, very few are "things" but rather experiences and people.  The birth of my children.  Snuggling with my dog Layla (she is pure joy in my life!).  Finishing my first marathon.  Writing.  Making a simple dinner and sharing it with others.  Reading a good book.  Watching my sons run track and play tennis.  Reading cards they made me as very young children and chuckling at their creative spelling.  A bath.  Music.  The smell of lilacs.  Watching the sunset.  Sitting on the beach with my parents and hearing stories (I've heard a million times over) of our family and their thoughts on the world.  Conversations on life and death and what is our purpose in life.So maybe my pursuit of happiness has less to do with things I must acquire and people I need to please, and more to do with finding what truly makes me happy.  At 41, why do I think I need to have it all figured out?  While I really like the Prada shoes my mother in law finds for me in resale stores along the way & relish times I can go to a spa or on a fancy vacation, at heart I'm still the same free-spirited, birkenstock wearing, hippie-esque girl who left for New Mexico to save the world some 20 years ago..and perhaps, true happiness, for me, is finding a way that both of those parts of me can coincide in peace and happiness and harmony.Quote for the day "Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony" Mahatma GandhiPeace......