peace....and running from destiny.....

There is a woman who runs many local running events, at least 30 years older than me, dressed in a leopard print sports bra and matching leopard print boy shorts type of bottoms, and most recently with a leopard headband with ears.  The first time I saw her, it was tough to "not" notice her.  For one, not many people are dressed in as little clothing as her, outside of the elite pool of athletes, and she's at least 65 years old and running around in a leopard print sports bra and matching boy shorts and running a race.Ahhh....that's what I love.  Not so much the outfit she's wearing, although it does take a significant amount of self-confidence to wear that outfit, but more that she's running well into 70s and exudes a certain "I am confident and happy with myself" that one can't help but smile when you see.Certainly, my therapeutic mind can explain such a display in a much more dysfunctional or narcissistic manner, but for a moment, I'd like to look at it as a person as one who is confident in her own skin and continues to use exercise to assist in that attitude.That's my goal!Ok, maybe I won't be strutting my stuff in a leopard barely there outfit when I'm in my 70s, but maybe I will?  Maybe I'll be so self-confident and secure that I'll have the desire and follow through to do so?A friend of mine, in response to my complaining about my chronic pain issues, said to me "if it matters to you to do the Marine Corps Marathon, you'll find a way...."I thought about it for weeks.  I prayed about it.  God knows, more than anyone, how important running is to me and what it does for my overall well-being."if it matters.....you'll find a way...."I am sticking to massage.  I am foam rolling (my track kids would be so proud!).  I am stretching (Thanks Emily- massage therapist- for pushing me).  I am cross training.  And....I bought new shoes.  Newton Running shoes. ( www.newtonrunning.com)  They are a totally different philosophy, and if interested you can look up the company online, but it all makes sense.  And I ran 3 days last week in them, and then ran on trails and ready for this.......NO PAIN!What?  I can hardly believe it myself.  And I am praying and hoping and trying to remain calm, but really need this to be part of my way to keep running....As I was on a trail run this weekend, with my 4 guy friends who allowed me to join their Dances with Dirt team, I kept thinking....what if this continues? What if my pain subsides and I can continue to run marathons?  Beyond Marine Corps, what if I am just becoming who I am supposed to be rather than running from my destiny?Weak.  Unathletic.  Injured.  Those messages plague my mind at times when I'm running, and if it weren't for my incredible stubborn streak and strong will (some think this to be a curse in my personality.....I beg to differ) I fear I'd give in to the thoughts and become a couch potato.I understand there are things in my life I cannot control, try as I might, but the things I can control, for the betterment of my own health and well-being, isn't it worth it?I started my journey with blogging almost a year ago, after my first time running Dances with Dirt.  I remember getting ready for the race and thinking "I'm not sure I can do this."  I embodied so many things I'm afraid or insecure with in one race.  I'm directionally challenged.  I don't like getting dirty.  I wish I was faster.  I don't like "not" being in control.  Yes, there is a theme.  But, I did it anyway.  And when I finished, I found friendship in 4 guys that I probably wouldn't have had if I chose to let my insecurities prevent me from the opportunity.  I found strength, I didn't even know I had.  And I found that even if I'm afraid of doing something, it is still important for me to try.  Thank you Jim (Ted), John (Walter), Joe, and George for being there with me for this part of my life journey."Some seek comfort in their therapist's office, others head to the corner pub and dive into a pint. I chose running as my therapy."  Dean Karnazes, ultra marathon runner.Shhhhh...don't tell my clients my secret.  and it isn't 100% true about the pub part because God and most others know I do enjoy a great (or decent, or mediocre) beer every now and again.  But nothing, nothing, nothing clears my mind quite like running.Happy running my friends........