Growing through facing fears- NO! Don't make me!

"Do something everyday that scares you." Eleanor Roosevelt.

I remember reading this quote years ago and thought....really?  Why do I need to face my fears of snakes, or sharks, or bungee jumping or....really, why?  Can't I just avoid said fears and go about my merry way? 

But on further reflection, I realized, it isn't in this type of fears, perhaps, she was referring.  Perhaps it was more in the fears that prevent us from moving forward in our growth. 

Today was monumental for both my children in different ways.  Early this morning, my 12 year old got up early on a summer day to go to yoga with me.  He has never practiced, and to be fair, I've only been going since December so hardly a full-fledged yogi (though striving to be so)....and when we entered the studio, I could see fear in his eyes.  I could see the "oh my gosh let me go back to the car"...no wait! That's actually what he said.  But...with coaxing, he bravely stepped into the studio, with a bunch of adults, knowing only me and my next door neighbor, and he sat on the mat to begin practicing.  I could see him filled with fear and rigid at first, fearful he was doing something wrong and fearful he looked "ridiculous" as he kept muttering....but soon, he calmed down and before long, he was following the teacher's lead to "have fun" and began kicking up to handstands.  Ahhh...the beauty of being a child.  Fears, though just as real (albeit often based in our own perception rather than "reality") as for adults, are often less debilitating and certainly not as long lasting.  As children, we often don't have the negative baggage that closely resembles this:  "You aren't strong enough.  You're not good enough.  You're not...." so with some coaxing, kids often are quickly redirected and able to overcome fear, whereas adults often stay stuck.

At the end of the yoga class, he was sweaty, exhausted, and beaming with pride.  And most importantly, he was not filled with fear. 

Clean up real fast and on to the next exciting first.  Older son and I went to the secretary of state and got his driver's license.  I could go on and on and on about my observations on the process there...but I'm reminded that my blog actually is focusing on "peace" so perhaps, that's not a good path.  Smiling..... Leaving the office, driver's license in hand....home 5 minutes and he's gone to a friend's house.  Sigh.  A friend asked me if I was having "empty next syndrome" already.  I laughed.  Actually, as fearful as I was, and am since he isn't home yet, I know this is necessary.  As parents, we are consistently teaching our children so they can one day be independent and live happy and productive lives out in the community.  This is his first step.  His "16 year old self"  wants to go to art school out of state, and wants to move to Japan after college.  My adult self is filled with fear......Will he be ok?  How will I cope?  How will I adjust to him in college?  How will I adjust to not making him breakfast or lunch or dinner?  How will I manage to go to sleep without kissing him good night? 

Then I thought...wait....none of this has to do with HIM!  He's the one on the brink of these amazing life changes and experiences, and though I know I'm filled with significant amount of fear, I can't let my fear compromise his growth.  

....do something everyday that scares you....

So.....

• Go to a yoga class even if you have never done.  Or Zumba.  Or .....put yourself out there to try something new to connect mind/body/spirit.
• Encourage those you love to follow their dreams, and put your fear aside so it doesn't affect their ability to spread their wings. 
• Make a list of things you'd like to do, even if they scare you, and set a time line to do them. Commit. Make "you" and your growth a priority. 
• Never stop trying!    

Just so you don't think I'm all talk and don't walk the walk....

In past 6 months....I've

• Started yoga- and was TERRIFIED and totally self conscious.  Took me 3 years to get courage to do it. Now, I practice daily. 
• Did an almost month long juice fast.  Come on...that's fear right there!  Living on smoothies, juice and tea and water.  And I was mostly pleasant to others around me. I continue to juice on most days, and fear of trying new ones no longer scares me.
• Went on a ropes course with my kids and friends.  Ok...I was TERRIFIED! And got stuck! (there are photos to prove it!), but I did it! And experienced a sense of pride in my failure that succeeding in something I'm already "good" at would never offer me. 
• Let my son drive to his friend's house, with only a GPS on his phone to guide him.  And I only said a few moments of prayer and didn't even follow him in my car.
• Said goodbye to some people in my life.  Valuing self can evoke fear for some of us.  But that's where we can grow! "Never overvalue people who undervalue you." Never.
• Opened up more to the beautiful people around me.  The more light that radiates from within me, shines on others around me. 

Leaving with one final thought....

A friend, whom I adore and have only been blessed to know for a short time, sent me this today....she said she read it and thought of me.  Wow. 

"Maybe the journey isn't so much about becoming anything.  Maybe it's about un-becoming everything that isn't really you so you can be who you were meant to be in the first place." Author unknown. 

Love that!  How beautiful, really....

Fears keep us from being who we are meant to be.  Letting go....allows us to grow to be the people we were always meant to be.

Peace....