Time to go beyond the "Reef."

(image courtesy of Disney studios......My oldest son informed me one can get in trouble for not stating where they got images from on the internet.  Yikes!  Will do going forward.....)Have you seen Moana?  I highly suggest!

(When I started writing this blog post, it was still in theaters and admittedly this has sat in draft form for almost 2 months....significant in many ways & related to this post.)

Moana.  A strong female lead, beautiful animation, a great story of going beyond our perceived limits to see who we are truly meant to be, and music by Lin-Manuel Miranda! (aka "Hamilton!")  The night before my oldest returned for college after a very long winter break, we created a new "New Year's Eve" tradition, and went to a movie & Chinese food.  I'm hooked.  Might be a must-do going forward.Moana.  The tale of a young girl who is soon to be Chief of her tribe, learning to, literally and figuratively, go beyond the reef to discover who she really is meant to be.  Should she leave the comfort and ease of her Polynesian island life to see what else is out there for her, or stay where she is safe and she is surrounded by all people & things she knows and trusts?When I first saw the movie, I was focused on the character of Moana & her struggle, but as I reflected on it (and listened to the soundtrack, as it's amazing) I recognized the power of the duality of the message in the film:  Moana, pushing herself "beyond the reef" to find who she is really meant to be, & The Chief (her Dad) struggling to let her go......

How many of can relate to "Moana?" Searching for her path. Searching for more meaning.  Searching for purpose. Searching for things and people to challenge you and help you to grow?  All awhile acknowledging a desire for roots?  How many struggle with realization of visceral fear of settling in life versus really living life?

How many of can relate to "the Chief?" Fully aware of the duality of a parental role of raising children strong enough to let them go & confident in their ability to thrive, yet on a primal level terrified of launching them into the life unknown?  Sending both messages of Go! Explore! Challenge yourself! Yet..... Don't go too far!  Don't be reckless in your exploration!  And Be careful and take loving care of yourself as you meet challenges known and yet to reveal themselves to you?

Many times in my own life, when I see patterns of messages reveal themselves from a myriad of directions, as if the Universe is telling me "Wake up!  This message is for you!"  While my journey may be different from those whom I am hearing the "message" from, the core meaning behind the message is a Universal Truth.

No matter our age, no matter our status in life.....until the very last breath we take on this earth....our JOURNEY is still unfolding.  And we may resist, we may ignore, we may try to deny...or we may embrace and just BE in the moment and allow yourself to follow what we already inherently know in the depths of our soul.  It is in the realization, that we are free. It is in sometimes going "beyond our reef" where we find our true selves.  Whether we are Moana or Chief, we cannot know what we are capable of if we stay in safety, in self or those we love around us.

Easy, right?  Oh I remember, when I was young, I thought at my age, (45, gulp!) I'd have it all figured out.  I thought yep, this is the end of the journey and life just is.  How incredibly wrong and naive I was.  I don't even know where that concept came from, truthfully, I just remember thinking the wonder and curiosity in life was something that you had as a young person, and clearly some old 45+ year old person was void of that curiosity and wonder and had a life and that was all it was.  NOW, that I am in that decrepit age group, I realize, life is a constant journey of wonder and curiosity, unless we forget that it is.  And perhaps we "forget" when we become so set on staying "Inside the REEF" that we forget there is an entire world beyond?

For those of you reading who have college age or beyond (or soon to be college age) kids, I assure you this is such an interesting space to be in.  Terrifying yet fascinating.  Beautiful yet wrought with such an unpredictable pattern of highs and lows no amount of preparation or parenting books will ever be able to prepare you for what it feels like..... Yet all awhile you are in this space, you TOO are actually that person you are watching go through his/her own exploration beyond the reef.  Why did no one tell us this?  That while we are watching our own children go through their journey, we TOO are STILL figuring out ours?

Ok, have I terrified all of you reading yet?  Especially those who may not have children or have young ones?  Let me leave with a few amazing thoughts I have learned through this part of life's journey.....

• It's truly ok and wonderful....even in the midst of uncertainty.... just being in the moment and realizing most of what we experience in life is truly temporary and life has a way of working itself out if we let it.  Just be patient.  And may be say a few prayers or offer up some positive energy along the way....
• Sharing your own journey is one of the most liberating thing in life to do.  Both with your kids (college ones especially) and others.  Vulnerability has the amazing power to bond us to others.
• Not having all the answers and seeing a clear path is ok.  Share that with your young ones.  It is in the unknowing that we truly learn to live and see our path!
• No one has it ALL figured out.  No one has a PERFECT life.  No one is totally CONFIDENT all the time.  And it is in our struggle that we see our own STRENGTH.
• Staying in your comfort zone, will never bring you the growth you are meant to experience.  In life, growth and progress is beyond that REEF, not within in.

 Would love to hear where your journey beyond the reef, perhaps for you or your journey in parenthood, continues to take you.....Peace.....