What it's like for introverts in a world that celebrates the extrovert- summer edition
I’ve been told I am aloof. Snobby. Hard to read. Am I upset? Is there something wrong with me? Most of my life, I have battled with these perceptions of who and what I am.
Most of the above are untrue on most days. Some of the above I hope are untrue on all days, but I do understand how my introversion can be misconstrued by most. May be that is why I love being in nature so much, as it doesn’t expect me to be anything other than who I am, or how I am. Nature does not expect me to be something or do something or say something….just allows me to be….in the stillness of the morning mediations, or as I walk exploring my little corner of our planet, is where I feel most at peace these days. With little distractions other than the rhythm of Mother Nature and all her inhabitants.
I spent the weekend in my lovely home state of MIchigan, Up North (see previous blog post) with a group of extroverts, and was often convening on the lake with an even more extroverted group of people. Yes, socially distancing in case someone is going to ask…yes…. we were. And while I was there, present, it is draining for me to keep track of conversations, to even attempt to match the energy levels of those around me. I often found myself floating off in the inner tube in the water…silent….listening for the loons or the humming of the boats off in the distance. At times, I was aware at the judgements from others around me, and at times, I simply just needed the stillness and thus that desire silenced the inner dialogue of “what is wrong with me that it is hard for me to enjoy that much stimuli around me.”
In a world that celebrates the extroverts, it is hard to be an introvert. It is hard to live with the perception from others that honor one as an ideal, and the other as a character flaw. Cocktail parties. Large gatherings. BBQ’s. Sporting events. All are extremely draining for those among us who are introverted, and I wonder how did this standard get to be the ideal leaving those of us who are born introverted to struggle with the feeling of less than in the eyes of the world? If you are EXTROVERTED, imagine for a moment going through your day with very little interaction from others, wandering through space and time with only the company of your thoughts? That literally is an ideal day for me, most days! And I know I am not alone when I write those words, but in order to really test my theory out I’d have to interact with many others and well….you see the challenge in this scenario. But truthfully, that is how introverts are wired vs how extroverts are wired….. and while I don’t look at those who are not like me (introverted) as having something wrong with him/her and thus really needing or enjoying large numbers of people around, I am left to wonder why the same space can’t be given to those around us who don’t enjoy it as much? Who really really want to enjoy it more than is possible for those among us who are wired this way.
Now, in a small group around a game of cards or eating dinner…I am up for a GREAT conversation and enjoy witty or not so witty banter. For clarification, introversion does NOT mean socially anxious (though that can coincide for some, but certainly not all), rather it is about where energy comes from for an individual. When I am around large groups, I literally need a nap or distance from EVERYONE after to re-group where those who are extroverted have often just received their elixir and are ready to take on their days! Me? I am needing meditation, writing, walking in nature, and stillness more than anything to regroup and center once again.
When I heard this song (from a documentary on happiness) it spoke to me in this innate desire I have found in myself to explore, wander, seek mostly from the beauty of nature around me. I hope you also enjoy…and hope the next time you see someone in your group who may be a little quieter than others…that you are less quick to ask “what’s wrong” or “why aren’t you talking as much” and more likely to give him/her space and understand while we are all different, we all share that same desire to be accepted just as we are rather than feel like we are expected to be something “other.”
Wishing you all peace in your day… and the ability to honor the YOU that you were created to be.
