In life....watch out for the SKUNKS along your way

The very first time I visited my college campus, I attended a party (shhhhh….don’t tell my parents) and there was student…with a “pet” skunk. He/she was adorable, he/she was very sweet, and she/he had whatever done to “de-skunk-scent” him/herself. However….we all know that in the wild, meeting up with one is a totally different & could be unfortunate experience. Their ability to use this secret tool is their defense mechanism, and necessary for their survival as a species. The same cannot be said about all humans.

Today, with my favorite walking companion Layla the Wonderdog, I had the following brief conversation with her….yes, with her…Yes, I am aware she is a doggo. Don’t judge.

Layla….. walking along…sniffing EVERYTHING….we came to the same bushes she is constantly sniffing. Not only around but full on body under the bushes investigating the scents and possible residents in said bushes.

“Layla….c’mon let’s get walking”

Layla ignores me. Rude, right?

“Layla…c’mon, Mom (that’s me) has to get home soon, let’s get moving.”

Layla continues to ignore me, pushing herself even more into the bushes……

Now….I’m more insistent and pull on her leash a little guiding her away….

“Layla, you have no idea who is living under those bushes. What if what looks nice & friendly is actually a skunk? Yeah, I know they might look like cute and cuddly bunnies, but you need to learn that not all things that look really cute are actually cuddly….. some are actually skunks & could hurt you. You need to learn to avoid the skunks in your life.”

She looked at me, as she often does, as if she understands me, but still thinks perhaps I need some help…..

How often are we fooled in life by the bait and switch from others, presenting as being one thing and then change into something far more unpleasant and sinister even? When you are trusting, and treat others with kindness and compassion and grace, it is so difficult to grasp not everyone plays by the same rules. I remember hearing advice years ago stating this: Presume Positive Intentions. Of everyone. Until you learn otherwise.

At the time I thought…Yeah, Yeah, Yeah! I dig it. Great advice! Easy, right, just “assume” others have positive intentions. The flaw in this model is this……….

NOT EVERYONE HAS POSITIVE INTENTIONS!

Some people are cruel. Some people are dishonest. Some people are selfish. Some people are ruthless. Presuming all have good intentions leaves us inherently and perhaps unnecessarily vulnerable. So how do we navigate through life knowing not all people are what they seem, and in fact might be destined to hurt us?

Perhaps the following may help. How I wish they were my words, but alas, I am not even in this same league…..

A framed art piece on my wall in my office reads:

People are often unreasonable & self centered Forgive them Anyway

If you are kind, people may accuse you of ulterior motives Be Kind Anyway

If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies Succeed Anyway

What you spend building someone can destroy overnight Build Anyway

If you are honest, people may cheat you Be Honest Anyway

If you find happiness, people may be jealous Be Happy Anyway

The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow, Do Good Anyway

Give the world the best you have & it may not be enough Give Your Best Anyway

For you see, it’s between you and “God” It was Never Between You & Them Anyway.

St. Teresa of Calcutta

Our power resides in our ability to NOT allow others to impact how we behave, think, or feel. Avoid the skunks in life to me is the ability to see the danger, to see the risks, or at a minimum when the bait & switch happens…to walk away from the situation or the person with grace and dignity and not allow ourselves to change who or what we are as a result of another.

I’ve met some skunks. Real and in disguise. I’ve let them (situations or people) temporality darken my days, remove the wind from my sails, and smile on my face. But……..

I have overcome. I have learned to be myself, anway, regardless of how the situation or the person has treated me…because in the end, how I act, how I think, how I feel is about me and my relationship with my God and the universe in a larger sense, and never ever about the “skunk” who attempted to destroy my spirit, anyway…..

So…..watch out for the skunks in the road (no seriously…they’re adorable creatures, albeit misunderstood, perhaps) and never ever allow anyone or anything to alter you from your course.

Wishing your peace & joy in your journey….