Mid-Life "Crisis"...What if we haven't gotten it all wrong?
“Mid-life Crisis.” That period of time traditionally thought of between 45-64. Until I actually looked up the age range, I still thought somehow I was not yet in that age group. That is an age group MUCH OLDER than mine. Reality check, I am.
Age. Aging. It is such a peculiar thing. As we age, it appears, the definition of “old” continues to push ahead of us. Akin to a goal post, ever inching away from us. May be we naturally do this as a protective mechanism to keep us under the illusion that we are not among the “old people” demographic. I remember discussing aging with my late grandmother in law, or as I common have referred to her in the past as “Driving Ms. Gloria.” She lived to see 93 years old. She was as spry, and current in politics and pop culture as your average college student. When we discussed what it felt like to be 93, she looked at me and explained how inside she felt young, current, hip even and yet when she looked in the mirror she could hardly connect what she looked like on the outside with the youth she felt deep within her.
What if approaching, ok wait I mean being in “mid life” years and making radical decisions is less of a crisis and more a sense of courage to make decisions regardless of how others may perceive your decisions? What if it’s like throwing caution to the wind and having more of a “f-it” attitude to see what sticks and what can be let go?
My “peek-a-boo” highlights are purple. I am preparing for my 4th (actually 5th, though one is covered up) tattoo. And next week I am picking up my convertible. Those are all true and when I look at them I think others may be looking at me like, what the hell is she doing? And the truth is a few years ago I SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Would’ve cared. I would’ve asked others opinions. I would’ve postponed the decisions for perhaps eternity rather than face the possible questions from others. I would’ve made the safe choice even if it meant I was less happy with the outcome. Today, I want to make the tough decisions, I want to honor the desires and wishes and hopes and dreams within me…rather than push them was because they are perhaps less conventional than others’ choices for their lives.
I shared with someone recently my desire to retire (or partially retire) someday in Costa Rica or Hawaii. This person’s response was first laughter and then, the inevitable “what, why?” Again, few years ago I would’ve shrunk down, questioned myself and just played it off as a silly idea. Now I think, why not? Others do it ALL THE TIME, why can’t I? Or may be it’s Thailand, or Israel, or or or? Why not?
In my life I have made many amazing decisions, and many awful ones. I have been super excited and proud of myself, and spent far too long with my head in shame or doubt. I am striving to live my life more authentically for me because the absolute truth is this…… I AM ONLY RESPONSIBLE FOR MY LIFE. I am responsible for No one else’s life and no one else is responsible for mine.
That is it. Only mine. I am exclusively responsible for it. I cannot push my decisions or mistakes on another though admittedly I’d so love it if I could.
So…. next time you hear or think of the term “mid-life crisis”, perhaps you can think of my alternative definition and lean into the natural process of aging (YIKES) with excitement and confidence rather than live in a space thinking you must make decisions in life that are always safe & subdued to appease others. After all, as much as some in our culture struggle with this natural human process….. growing older is afforded to the lucky ones in our world…….
So how do you want to live ALL of the days you have been gifted on this earth?
