While I really wanted to write closer to the date of the tragedy that erupted in DC this past week, truthfully I was so enraged I couldn’t even begin to sit down to write. Feeling this incredible sense of anger and grief is not a set of emotions I am used to or lean into very often, and yet I found myself consumed for days.

How did we get here? While I could go on and on and on about my personal feelings about a particular administration, that is NOT where I want to go in this piece partly as to NOT give a particular administration more credit than it deserves, and mostly because I don’t believe that is deep enough to truly address the visceral hatred that exists in our county. The ugly truth many are too afraid, too embarrassed, or too numb to address.

While we, as Americans, can hear the retoric of our country being the “best” country in the world, I am curious to what we are basing this assessment. Education? No. Standard of living? No. Healthcare? No. What? What are we basing this bold comment on and many of us just accepting this as “truth?” It would be easy, and naive quite frankly, for us to say what happened on 1/6/2021 was an anomaly, and the group that broke into our capital was just a rouge group of a few violent and delusional people who live within our boundaries of this country, the reality is this is a representation of far more people who live, work with, share community with all of us and yet the deep, dark, evil (yes, I said evil) messages and beliefs that have surfaced from these groups and these events (and they are growing over the past 4 years) should scare each and every one of us to our core.

The confederate flags. Neo-nazi symbols. Q-anon shirts/signs/flags. A noose hanging for all to see. And my personal favorite (yes, that is sarcasm, in case it isn’t coming through with writing) is the “person” who decided in his infinite wisdom to not only purchase but to wear a “Camp Auschwitz” shirt, as if it’s a joke? A fun place where millions of Jews/Poles/Gypsies/Undesirables/Etc went to for vacation? Or most likely that this person was somehow in support of the absolute evil that existed in this place for years? I can’t even…. how?

What I want to say to all these people is this…and please read in its entirety before you think I’ve lost my mind, which I felt in the midst of throughout the week so it’s fair.

I am sorry. I am sorry for whatever has happened in your life for you to get to the point of thinking that you will in some way feel better about yourself, your life, your circumstances, by insulting-bullying-threatening- or harming another. I am sorry you have never truly known love, or peace, or kindness as there is no way you truly COULD or this would not exist. They cannot exist together. I am sorry you have been drawn to this level of darkness, blinding you from the obvious reality that the very people you try desperately to destroy, are as human, and deserving of life and freedom as you are. I am sorry you are so distraught to the depths of your soul that you are robbing yourself (and unfortunately your ‘loved’ ones as well) from the beauty that exists in having a diverse population, and a diverse community around you. I am sorry you speak of being a faithful ‘Christian’ and yet truly must not know God, as if you did….. you would know you are harming HIS people. HIS creations. I am sorry you have fallen for flawed ideology. I am sorry you are too stubborn to even see it. I am sorry you do not know peace in your own hearts, as if you did, you would not be capable or even have the desire to do what you did on this tragic day.

I will pray for peace in all of our hearts, especially all of yours.

This is what I want my message to be. Hatred and violence will NEVER create peace. NEVER. And while I want everyone who is involved with, responsible for, or participated in this event to be held accountable, simply wanting them to be put in jail is a bandaid approach to healing our country. More will come after they are long gone, until we work to heal what is wounded deep inside every one of these people who decide to act/think/believe as these people do/did/and will in the future.

I am deeply saddened and fearful of what is to come in our country and hope that you and others will join me in praying (or meditating if that align better with your philosophy) for peace not only for our world, but individually for those who suffer in silence and think that the way to heal the pain, is to pass it on to another.

Wishing you all who read this peace in your hearts…and peace in your journey.