Does how you celebrate the "holiday season" match what matters most to you?

I thought I would try a different approach in my mostly annual holiday blog, diverting away from past themes of “tips for de-stressing” or “celebration tips for all” and instead focusing on the disconnect with intent and reality that often shows up.

When you think of the holidays, what is the first word that comes to mind?

Joyful?

Stressful?

Exhausting?

Expensive?

Does your perception of the holidays shape your experience or does your past experience of the holidays shape your perception?

When I think of the holiday season (Christmas is the holiday I celebrate), I think of lights, family and friends, indulgent food and holiday themed spirits and slowing down for a few moments. Over the years, I have mindfully and intentionally worked to have my reality and intent more closely align with what my perception or desire is for this season.

My house is filled with twinkling lights, increasing in number each year ever so slowly in hopes my other family members don’t notice and resist my request to help set up the displays. While I have always loved lights the most in holiday decorating, my younger self struggled with asking for what I want and chose instead to either settle for less lights than I wanted to have or silently wrestle with resentment because others in my house couldn’t read my mind. My current plan not only is a much better plan for all in my home, but it more closely aligns with my perception of the holiday, which is illuminated by plethora of lights.

Until recently, our family home was rather small. At times, I felt insecure that it didn’t always look like I dreamed it would, or comfortably seat all I wanted around me during the holiday. Then, I remembered what really mattered to me was having those I love and care about being close to me, even if it meant we were bursting at the seams or sitting on the hardwood floors. I stopped caring about the extraneous aspects that truly didn’t hold value to me (material world things) and instead focused on honoring that I valued friends/family over the holidays and leaned into that value. My home is, and will always be, a safe haven or soft landing pad for anyone who needs a place to celebrate. We always have a hodgepodge of amazingly lovely people around us and so grateful to have this experience and open our hearts and our home.

I bake. A LOT. I try each year to cut back, but it never happens. I used question if I should bake “healthier” cookies or candies or breads, and then remembered these are family heirloom recipes and tradition and meant to be indulgent after all. I value creating a feeling when you are sharing a meal in my home or the recipient of my baked goods. I make them with love, and will continue to honor that value by baking late into the night with butter and chocolate and peanut butter and all things delicious! I can eat my kale salads all the other days of the year.

Chaos and busy schedules absolutely overwhelm me. The holidays are therefore very challenging time for me. As an introvert and highly sensitive person, energy around me often depletes my own energy stores leaving me shorter in temper or withdrawn. My younger self didn’t understand this, and drank or developed other less than ideal coping mechanisms in an attempt to mask my discomfort and feelings of overwhelm. I now really focus on clearing nonessential commitments, no longer held obligatory practices (sending of holiday cards- sorry I no longer do) and keeping things as simple as possible. My presents do not have bows, but please know what is inside came from my heart. My tablecloth is often more than a little bit creased and may have a wrinkle or two, but know the meal I made was created by my desire to honor and serve you as a token of my love for all who are gathered.

I may not be dressed as if I am going to a fancy ball, and welcome you to come as you are as well.

I may not be hip to the latest movies or songs or trends, but hope when others come to my home, they see me in my purest attempt, creating a holiday season that honors my love of lights, my love of family and friends, my love of indulgent and tradition-filled food/spirits, and my absolute love of doing nothing at all with the people I love.

What do you value?

Does what you value align with how you actually celebrate in reality?

Few more days to ask yourself these questions and create holiday memories that are Y-O-U!

Wishing you peace… now and always