What REALLY creates a HAPPY life
Do you really know what makes people happy?
How often have you heard in your life one (or more) of the following:
If only I get “that job”, then I will be happy.
If only I make “this much money”, then I will be happy.
If only I lose “this much weight”, then I will be happy.
and more recent phenomenon, If only I am able to obtain “this many followers”, then I will be happy.
The truth is, none of that has anything to do with human happiness or contentment. None of it.
It is so tempting to lean into the falsehoods many of us have conditioned in our lifetime to believe- that money, fame, or physical appearance has a direct correlation to one’s happiness. However, the more you research the factors linked to human happiness or contentment, the more you start to realize our efforts are entirely misdirected.
And why does a “happy” or “content” life even matter?
The more we are dedicating research focused on human emotions, the more we are beginning to understand the importance emotions have on our life, influencing not only the quality of one’s life but some initial data is showing a correlation to the QUANTITY (years) of life as well.
In graduate school, my research project focused on the impact of a social/emotional support community on one with a cancer diagnosis. 20+ years ago (which pales in comparison to a study I will cite later) I was curious if there was a connection not only to how someone experienced his/her/their cancer diagnosis but if there was a connection to outcomes as well. While my study was very limited and ended after I graduated, we were able to find a connection between one’s perception of his/her cancer experience and how connected he/she/they were to the community. In other words, the more persons diagnosed were able to connect to the cancer support community, the more family/friend support the persons diagnosed had in their lives, and the happier they reported being, despite the cancer diagnosis (regardless of prognosis).
Connections with others matter. Friends matter. Being involved with the community outside of our own homes or immediate families matters.
The longest study dedicated to this topic has been ongoing at Harvard University for over 80+ years. Several different researchers have been assigned to this study due to its longevity. They have been able to prove, through decades of qualitative research, interviewing the participants throughout their lives, finding the same results my little graduate research study did 20+ years ago. What matters most to human happiness or contentment is not the size of one’s bank account, what he/she has accomplished in his/her career, what he/she looks like or how much they weigh, or how many “followers” they have…but rather what matters the most is a connection with others and purpose/meaning in life.
This New Year- let this guide you to instead of making meaningless “resolutions” that we all know will end by the time the calendar turns to February, to intentionally seek connection and meaning in our lives. Let it guide you to:
Make the phone calls you are “too busy” to make right now.
Plan the visit with the ones you love, for tomorrow is guaranteed for no one.
Reduce your reliance on social media for validation and instead trust in your own truth and opinions.
Do good for others. Even when no one else is looking.
I’m attaching both an article on this study and the Ted Talk. Wishing you enlightenment and clarity and may you truly find peace and happiness and contentment this year.
Way more important than focusing on fitting into that pair of jeans or swimsuit that were never meant for you anyway…
