Mountain Pose: What if I am everything and nothing at all?
Near the end of yoga practice this morning, outdoor practice as we are continuing to live through this social distancing space, we are in mountain pose. The sunshine is streaming down upon us, as the cool morning air tickles our skin. It is so peaceful, still….amidst the morning bustling of the city. In my thoughts, I could hear the words come to mind “I can accomplish everything. I can accomplish anything. I can accomplish somethings. I can accomplish nothing.”
Wow! Not even sure where the words came from, but it was my voice reminding me what I needed to hear in that moment. I took the words to mean what or if I accomplish anything, none of it really matters. I/we are so much more than what we do for a living, what physical luxuries we acquire in our lifetime, what accolades or letters follow our professional titles, where we went to school or ever if/what we studied. We are so much more. We are everything, and nothing at the same time.
I’ve been re-examining my thoughts about what it means to be in “mid-life” attempting to soften the stigma of it being a “crisis” and may be more of a cleaning up house. Tossing things aside that no longer fit (and no, not just articles of clothing!), and really leaning into and soaking up the things/people/practices that do add value and dignity and meaning to my life. Hearing those words from beyond or within me this morning, and feeling the energy from others around me left me just feeling content and truly in the moment. I am the absolute worst for NOT LIVING in the moment. It is a struggle for me to do so. When I am on vacation, I think about the next one. When I am with a dear loved one, I am thinking about when I can see him/her again. It’s just not in my genetic code to be calm/still/grounded/in the moment. Oh, I know I look that way on the outside (I have been told many times in my life…but trust me, it’s a racetrack of sorts inside the head of mine.) Yet….I absolutely love and value when I am able to be in the space….and so I practice, a lot! Leaning into the now, and putting a pin in the future and trying to quiet the chatter from the past.
It’s a practice.
And so what if I am capable of everything, but do nothing? What if I am capable of nothing, but somehow do EVERYTHING? What does that mean about me? Does it add more value to who I am to the world? Or is it a lesson for me (and all of us, don’t for a moment think my journey is dissimilar than yours, we are ALL in this space called LIFE! together!) to truly push myself to do/be/experience all that I can in life, but know that it isn’t in the accomplishments that I earn merit, but more in the journey that I am on that does this?
The people I meet and hope to leave better than prior to knowing me
The animals I rescue and treat as if they were my human children
The hurting I seek to lessen their pain
The meals I prepare for family members/friends with love
The clients I sit with as they process trauma undiscussed with any other human before
The writings I publish, even I am terrified at others reading/knowing…but do anyway knowing if it affects just “1”…I am happy
What if it is about the subtitles in life that truly give meaning and depth to our living and whether we accomplish everything, anything, somethings or nothing… we can still stand tall, with our head held high, with the breeze zipping through your hair (or no hair) because truly our accomplishments mean everything and at the same thing nothing at all……….
Happy pondering….
Wishing you peace- health- and the courage to get out there and deeply connect with others…never regretting love you shared or showed another.
