You can't wait until life isn't hard anymore to be HAPPY!

We have all heard this message expressed in a variety of forms in our life. Yet, when I heard it this time, expressed so incredibly eloquently in this original song, it was as if I was hearing it for the very first time. Ever have those moments? It’s like seeing a uniquely beautiful sunset and wondering, perhaps silently to oneself, if anyone else had ever witnessed something so lovely, and did anyone else know this sun was capable of displaying such beauty. We all know the sunsets can be stunning but are we even paying attention to witness this?

Happiness is a choice.

It isn't happy people who are grateful, rather grateful people who are happy.

There is always, always, always something to be happy about in your life.

I have heard and spoken all of these and countless others, but wondered after hearing this song how much of my intellect and spirit really understood this message. Was I just repeating this route response to others not totally realizing that this also applied to me? It is easy to get lost in the emotions of our life events, not taking time to realize what we have within our control IS how we respond and what we choose to do with that information and experience.

How often do we give away our “right” to happiness to another, thinking we in some ways need to ask for permission for our own happiness when in reality the decision to be happy, no matter what is happening around us resides within each of us. It has never been, nor will it ever be, about anyone else but ourselves. Do we delay our own happiness, waiting for that one thing, or that one event, or that one goal to be achieved before we actually start living a happy life?

I randomly heard this song last week, premiering on America’s Got Talent, a show I have rarely watched, and yet somehow this popped up for me to do so. One might say it was a coincidence, or as a family friend who is also a Catholic Priest refers to it as being a “God-incident.” Regardless of the explanation, it is often in these moments that we are given a chance to look at this greater connection to the Universe and in some ways our vulnerability for having little impact on the “what” that happens to us, all while continuing to have every bit of the responsibility and ability to choose the “how” things affect each and every one of us. Why this song? Why this message? What are we meant to learn?

2020 has been fertile ground to test this theory, and to challenge each of us to seek happiness and peace amidst what has been a challenging time for so many collective reasons, while unfortunately still allowing space for the individual suffering as life always has potential for doing.

Did you focus on all that was lost?

Did you fill your mind (and heart) with all that is conflictual, anger-fueled, or salacious?

Did you spend the time lamenting on the injustices of the world, or find ways to work for change in big and small ways?

With the exception of virologists and a few select others who are deep in the research of viruses and the impact of climate change on our world and the connection with pandemics and natural disasters, none of us could have predicted we’d be spending the better part of 2020 in our homes, fixated on our news station of choice tracking the numbers of the COVID-19, wearing masks, at times dying our own hair and wiping down our groceries and wondering if it’d ever be safe to meet up with our loved ones who weren’t in our immediate “pod.” The terminology of:

Pod- Social Distancing- viral overload- making up- facecovering- vaccine hesitancy- herd immunity- global pandemic- Zooming- Zoom Happy Hours- Zoom!

None of these terms had the collective understanding until 2020. Now, we are all keenly aware of each of them, and the impact they all have had on our lives. It feels natural and easy to commiserate with family members/friends/coworkers over the collective frustrations/irritations/disappointments/heartache that is attached for most/many of us when we think of 2020. However, even in the midst of all that has been difficult, the space for increased love, friendship, kindness continued to exist. There continued to be ways to connect with others in perhaps even more intentional and creative ways. There continued to be space to devote time/energy to fix up one’s house to make it more accommodating for the ever-changing needs of work/school from home or hybrid versions of this or decide it was finally time to make a change and move to a more functional space, which is indeed what my family decided to do.

While I will never say I am happy the pandemic occurred, recognizing this very real pandemic has ended the lives of millions of people worldwide and impacted in very real and painful ways the lives of countless others across the globe. However, I can say with complete honesty, it was in the past year that I re-learned the lesson that I CAN and have the personal obligation to BE happy regardless of what happens around me. It is up to me. It is up to each of you reading, to find your own space for peace and happiness. Sometimes….. when we are in the midst of difficulties, we forget it’s ok to also see/find joy and peace and happiness and love. It is ok. Even if we aren’t 100% “OK,” there is still space to focus on all that is right, all that is good, all that is beautiful, and allow ourselves to be happy. Even if for a few fleeting moments. It is OK to be happy.

In reading and listening more to this courageous woman’s story (who both wrote and sang the song in the audition), a final thought has continued to linger in my consciousness as a brilliant reminder of the power of the human spirit. Not only living with stage IV cancer, (a population I am very familiar with based on my family history and my career in oncology for over a decade) this young woman is also a domestic violence survivor. She arguably has more than enough “reasons” to not be happy. She has more than enough “reasons” to sit with her pain and suffering and allow that to define who she is today, and who she has the potential of being in the future. However, in her moment to speak to the world whatever she wanted us to know….she simply stated this: “We are more than the worst things that happened to us.”

YES!!!!!!

We are more.

We are capable of using the experiences of life to strengthen us or destroy us. We get to decide.

We are all deserving of love, and happiness, and peace.

I have sat in the space of heartache, or sadness, of hopelessness. I have been there. I have tried to ignore it. I have tried to numb it. I have tried to run from it (literally and figuratively). This year, I stopped all of it. I just sat with it, accepted it as part of who I am. As part. And in doing so, I allowed space for all the other parts to work their magic and help me see that I am so much more than the worst things that have happened to me, or the worst things I have done.

I hope this is a gentle reminder that we are all a little bit of a mess, we are all a little bit broken, we are all living with a little bit or a lotta trauma, but it’s ok. We are all a little lost sometimes, and it’s ok.

Trust in yourself, trust the Universe has your back, and trust in yourself to find, and knowing that we ALL deserve to be happy.