I was debating if I should tackle this subject today, but then thought I'd be remiss if I did not.It isn't a milestone anniversary this year, yet it hit me harder than years past.9/11.I watched coverage in National Geographic over the weekend with my son, who is now 15.  He was 3 years old when it happened, and has no recollection of the events of the day or days after.Questions he asked: "Mom, where were you and where was I when this happened? Did you pick me up?  Did you know it was a terrorist attack?"

• We had dropped him off for his first day of preschool.  On that day a milestone for him and our family, the tragic and senseless end for so many others.
• I didn't pick him up right away.  I sat with a few former co-workers watching the TV, staring in disbelief as the second plane hit tower 2.  The first tower to fall.  The tower in which I would eventually learn one of my college housemates was, and spent her last moments on Earth.
• I did not know it was a terrorist attack.  I think I was so naive 12 years ago, I didn't even understand the degree to which other people hated the United States and all we stood for as a Nation.   I miss my naivety.

I sat on the couch with our son, and tears streamed down my face uncontrollably. After all the years of coverage, I had never seen people jumping out of the buildings, this year....I did.  Maybe I didn't want to see it before because the horror of it all is too much to bare.So how to make peace with something as horrifying as this?I remember....and choose to focus on the days after.  If only for today we could all remember those feelings of Patriotism, of really connecting with and devoting time and energy on our family and friends and neighbors. If for only today we could remember what's really important..........while I'd love to live on a beach in Jamaica (as I have written about before).....in the meantime, isn't there space to be happy with the many blessings in my life right now?In choosing to give in to anger and spite, rather than focus on peace and love, terrorists and the evil they stand for, win.  In choosing to remember 9/11 solely based on the atrocities of the event, rather than by the miracle and examples of the beauty of the human spirit, terrorists and the evil they stand for, win.  In living in fear and becoming more distrusting of all the beautiful diverse people who make up our country, rather than celebrating the great diversity in our nation, terrorists and evil they stand for, win.I refuse to give evil, or the terrorists who carry out evil in our world anymore attention than they've already received.  I really don't want to know about their lives, or their reasons.....evil is evil and attempting to understand it in my eyes is futile.I remember the American Flags flying high that day and the days after.I remember the tireless efforts of the brave men & women in the fire departments and law departments gently and with great respect combing through the debris to bring to rest the earthly bodies of those who were lost on 9/11.I remember the kindness people showed others.I remember the pride I had and those around me had in being Americans, resilient, strong, and unafraid of those who attempted to destroy all that we stand for as a country.And I remember Kristi Irvine Ryan's smile....my college friend who died that day.  I remember more than anything her smile, and the kindness she showed everyone who she met on the campus of University of Dayton.  When I start to feel anger filling my heart as the media barrages us with an endless stream of the tragedy of that day, I will choose to remember her beautiful, gentle spirit and witty sense of humor, and allow peace to enter my heart.What do you choose to remember?A few quotes I will think about today.....perhaps I've used them before?"An eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind." Mahatma Gandhi."If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other." Mother Teresa. Two of the most beautiful people who have ever walked on our planet.  Not because they were mighty and wealthy and powerful....rather because they were wise, filled with love, and filled with peace.Peace and Love today, on 9/11, and always.