How GROWING through heart ache & disappointment makes you STRONGER!

Why do things seemingly have to be difficult in order for us to grow?

During shelter in place, I have taken countless walks with my favorite walking companion, Layla the Wonderdog. Winter has given way to the emergence of Spring. Trees have gone from the drab barren branches protruding from their sturdy trunks, to beautifully blooming visions of pinks and purples and greens and reds and…. pure beauty. What amazes me on these walks, is how absolutely effortlessly these trees, bushes, & flowers seem to adjust to this transition. Why is it so difficult for humans?

In college, the height of by brooding/poetry days, I thought I knew the purpose of human suffering. Looking back, it was limited based on my life experience. Now, I envision this space in my life, and others, not unlike the impact of what Winter does for the landscape in the midwest. Grey, void, the barren. But nonetheless necessary, giving way to even more intense beauty in the transition. I now can see the struggles of life in this way, enabling us to move through life, perhaps a little scarred & weathered, but stronger in our capacity for empathy, for compassion, and for inner strength in knowing what the human spirit is capable of not only enduring, but perhaps growing through!

What will we all learn through this pandemic? What will our children learn about themselves? Can we and can they pause for a moment and trust in the power of the Universe, in God, in the Divine to help them transition to an even more magnificent version of ourselves/themselves? Can we and can we teach them to not only “sit” with their emotions and feel them? Yes, all of them. The anger. The disappointment. The hurt. The disbelief. Lean into them, trusting they too can be our and their teachers. Can we allow ourselves and teach our children to no longer be afraid of the darkness, for it is as powerful of a teacher as the light….if we allow it to be.

As a young adult, I watched ad nauseam the movie “Steel Magnolias,” so much so I literally could recite the lines word for word if given the opportunity. 80s teens…I am not alone, right? There is a pivotal scene in the movie, at a funeral, grieving the loss of the adult child of one of the main characters. One of the women used this line, I later learned attribute to Friedrich Neitzche, “that which does not kill us, makes us stronger.” Even then I thought to myself, YES! YES! YES! We do not have control over all that happens in our life, and a life without pain and heart ache and disappointment is promised to none of us. What we do have control over is how we respond to disappointment and heartache in our life. How we respond, my friends, is what we call our character.

May be this is one of those moments in time? How many events, relationships, plans, retirement, 401ks, concerts, festivals, weddings, graduations, etc have been cancelled leaving a barren, void in its wake? This is an opportunity, for growth.

We fall.

We Break.

We fail.

But then,

WE RISE.

WE HEAL.

WE OVERCOME.

What will you do?