Why I decided to apply for CBS's Survivor
“Do one thing everyday that terrifies you.” Eleanor Roosevelt
While I do not watch much T.V., from the very first season I have been a HUGE fan of the CBS phenomenon “Survivor.” I have watched every single episode of every single season. Let that settle in…..This past season was season “40” so that is a 20 year commitment of television viewing!
For those unfamiliar with the premise, it is a reality based competition where a group of contestants from around the country travel to a remote part of the world, have to work together and against one another to gather and cook (limited) food, water, make fire and shelter and “out- wit, out-last and out-play” one another for potential at $1,000,000 prize.
A few weeks ago…..I made a video. I went through the application process, and pressed SEND! I applied.
Now… my son, with the grace and compassion of any 22 year old young man, reassured me stating I have exactly 0.0% chance of getting selected.
That is not the point.
Like many, I have let fear, insecurity, and uncertainty keep me from even starting things that I think I would love to do. For years I wanted to be a runner. I watched people running in my neighborhood and secretly wanted to be just like them, running to nowhere and everywhere. It took me YEARS before I got the courage up to put on some sort of “running shoes” and take that first step.
Had I allowed my fear of:
Looking foolish
Being too slow
Being awkward
continue to take over, I would’ve missed the opportunity to feel the pure JOY and PRIDE that came with finishing my first marathon. It was one of the most amazing moments of my life, to cross that finish line and know that I was among 1% of the world’s population (at the time) who had completed that distance. I wanted to show my children the importance of pushing past our perceived limitations. I wanted them to know it isn’t about the outcome as much as the journey of what we are trying to accomplish. It has been worth every single blister, stumble, sleepless night before a race, and even the pain that has befriended me for over a decade. I am still so proud, and grateful I had the courage to do it. I was afraid, I doubted myself, and I did it anyway!
So I applied. To CBS’s Survivor!
Will I be selected? A suburban now middle-aged mom with nothing really remarkable to set myself apart from others? Oh except that our second child is LITERALLY named after the 3rd season’s winner (Ethan Zohn)! Yes, that is the truth. The simple answer is, probably not.
But life is short. Unpredictable. Shifting constantly. And for someone who has both sat on sidelines for decades too long in her life, and also fought a freaking wandering spider in her room in Costa Rica, I am confident I can do hard things, and confident no matter what does and does not happen in my life….I am in control over my own happiness and path in life.
And I’d much rather deal with the things I had the courage to at least try to do, then spend my life regretting the things I was too afraid to even try doing.
I once was asked to run a 60 mile trail relay with a group of friends, through the forrest and muck and grossness I can’t even explain in my area. When I was sharing this with a loved one, I was met with “oh my gosh, you will hate it. There’s no way you will ever do it.”
That was all the challenge I needed. Me. A somewhat “girly-girl” who wears skirts and dresses and heals even on her days off. I was going to run a trail run through all these conditions?
Yes…I did. And I ran it 3 times. All I need is a challenge now in my life…and I am learning to embrace the uncertainty and detach from direction of the outcome. After all…that has never been the point. It has always, always been about the journey. (For most of us, really…. it is about the journey)
So what’s your “Survivor” challenge? What are you just busting at the seams with enthusiasm to do, but may be hesitant because you aren’t sure what the outcome might be?
I’d love to hear more about it!
Wishing you peace…and courage to fight for your dreams!
